LET THE WALLS CRUMBLE

kangheekim

2016

Let the walls crumble.

The paint flake and peel

I need to get out

from this prison of mine.

My fingers are torn.

Nails are shredded.

But I must destroy

this wall around me.

No one can understand

my fear, my panic.

No one can help me

escape my demons.

This I must do alone.

Brick by brick,

the wall will fall.

A glimpse of outside

is all I need.

The sky appears,

clouds floating by.

The sun peeks in,

not to be left out.

I’m ready to be free.

To fly from my captors.

First, my head,

then my body.

I’m outside on the ledge,

balanced over the city.

I’m free to let go

and soar over cars

and people.

Join the tiny dots below.

Time to fly.

THE DEAD GAME -- DAY 85

   “I’ve never sleepwalked before;  Someone had hypnotized me!”  Shana was relieved that it had been Sam who found her, since she would’ve been mortified if a total stranger had come to her rescue. She felt safe and warm in his arms. And he smelled so nice, like cologne or aftershave.  She could fall asleep in his arms and dream….
     “What do you think was the hypnotic suggestion that was given to you?” Sam asked.  He woke her from her brief reverie.
     “I think I was supposed to feel unimportant and insignificant in the scheme of things…making me want to kill myself by jumping off the tower.” Shana got the chills when she thought about what had almost happened to her.
     “Don’t worry, you’re safe now. I’m bringing you to my office; no one will be there. You can rest and put on some warm clothes. When you’re ready, I’ll take you back home.”
     “Please don’t tell anyone—not even Linda. I have to figure this out myself.”   
     Sam entered his private office and laid her down on the couch. “You’re not alone in this; all your friends are here for you. I’m here for you. You can tell Todd anything. I’ve been through so much with him that you can trust him with your life.”
     “You can tell Todd, but my friends don’t need to know yet. It wouldn’t serve any purpose except to frighten them further.”
     “Okay, I’ll do whatever you ask. When you’re ready, you can tell them yourself.”
      After she changed into Sam’s extra clothing and rested a bit, he drove her home. She felt embarrassed about what had just happened; she couldn’t understand what could have made her climb up a tower in the middle of the night and then consider jumping off.
      Huddled against the car’s door, she took a quick peek at Sam’s face. He was staring ahead at the road, deep in thought. Then he turned his face toward her and gave her a warm smile. She realized for the first time that even with his tough exterior, he was soft and gentle inside. She sank back into her seat and closed her weary eyes.

     Shana opened her eyes and was startled: she didn’t know where she was. She peered into the darkness. She was lying on her bed in her room—but she had just been in the car with Sam. She glanced over at the chair beside her bed and found Sam sound asleep. He must have carried her to bed and then had conked out on the chair. He did look tired: events must be getting to him. He carried so much responsibility on his shoulders. She’d just have to be nicer to him in the future. With that thought in mind, she fell asleep. She slept through the night, knowing that she had Sam beside her to protect her.

THE DEAD GAME -- DAY 83

Chapter 13

Shana tossed and turned most of the night. She was caught in a nightmare where she was running through town in the middle of the night, only wearing her nightgown. It felt so real. The night air felt cold on her skin and the wind blew her nightgown against her legs. Her feet hurt; they felt bruised by the sharp rocks on the ground. She looked down and realized that she was barefoot.

     She didn’t know why she was running, or from whom. She knew only that she had to get somewhere before it was too late. Then she noticed the church looming in front of her. Why would she want to go into the church in the middle of the night? Why was she running up the stairs to the tall bell tower? She was terrified of heights and would never willingly climb up a tower. What was happening to her?

     The next moment she was gazing over the ledge—high up in the tower—looking down at the town below her. Everything seemed small and insignificant. She felt small and unimportant. She just wanted to fly away and be free.

     She stood up on the narrow ledge and spread her arms out wide; she wanted to know what it felt like to be free from this town and all the fear that she’d felt trapped in since she moved here. She would miss Linda, but knew that Linda would be much happier without her and her paranoid fears.

     In the distance she heard someone calling her name. She tried to ignore it, but kept hearing her name being called over and over again. She looked down and noticed Sam standing below her on the sidewalk, yelling out her name and telling her how much he cared for her. She gazed into his green eyes and realized that she didn’t want to leave him. And what was she doing standing on a ledge in the middle of the night?

     She felt like she’d just been released from a trance.  She called down to Sam, “I don’t know how I got up here, and I don’t think that I can get down by myself.”